The most direct route to fulfilment — Soul shaped with Monika

‘Parking’ my desires, making the best out of what I have, settling for less than what lights me up - the path that felt right to my ‘good’ girl got me the perfect life on the outside and having it all according to cultural standards of success. On the inside I felt lost, flawed and broken but nobody knew. For the longest time, even I didn’t. Then came the realisation that this ‘perfect’ life was was not the one that I wanted to live any longer, along with bitter and ugly rage. Stressed out, overwhelmed and recovering from stage 3 ovarian cancer, I couldn’t work out how I got to this place and I just wanted to escape.

I was in a pattern of figuring things out on my own, maintaining the status quo and not really ‘going for it’ because I just didn’t have the time, energy or money for it. No, that would cause too much upheaval and disruption and I needed to think of the unnecessary inconvenience it would cause to others who depended on me to keep it together.

I didn’t allow myself to dream or vision. I denied myself the joy of getting involved in the adventures and projects that reflected my full Yes! to Life. …. because it would be too disruptive, cause too much mess and be asking for too much.

What I basically was saying to myself is that there isn’t enough time, energy and resources to include my most joyful participation in Life. Rather, I primarily exist to please, nurture and take care of the needs of others. And to tolerate, endure, make do and be grateful for whatever comes my way in return. This ‘model’ is not something that I consciously chose to practice. Walking down the path of being nice, pleasant and agreeable slowly but surely moulded me into this shape.

What if there was another way instead of curbing our desires to fit into the cultural model and feel ‘good’ about ourselves, and then ending up bitter and disillusioned because that’s the fruit of self denial? What if we could partner with an intelligent and life positive universe that wants to create fulfilment, depth and beauty through us instead of being limited by our past experiences of lack?

Suppressing our true desires only leads us into destructive rebellion and self-sabotage. It takes courage to believe that Life can be awesome, delicious and mind blowing. We are not doomed to live in stress, drudgery and exhaustion in order to be abundant and successful. Owning our authentic desires and taking responsibility for creating them is the most direct route to fulfilment.

If we’ve habitually been turning off our authentic Selves, following our ‘Yes’ and honouring our ‘No’ will feel unnatural and scary. The voices of fear, guilt and shame will step in to keep you ‘safe’ inside the box of the cultural program.

When we fully say Yes! To the Hero/ines’s journey of claiming our hearts desires in spite of the inner dragons, we won’t be walking alone because that is when we meet our mentors. They can guide us and hold the tender shoots of our emerging dreams with care. They can point to the pitfalls and traps because they have stood in your shoes before and found their way out into joy and purpose.

To find out how I can support you to clarify and nurture your hearts’ true desires, go to MonikaVijh.com

Introduction to the heroes’ journey by Josef Campbell : https://youtu.be/GNPcefZKmZ0