You’ve been inspired to take charge of your future. You’re taking the the bull by the horns. You’re ready to quit your job and go on an adventure to discover your destiny. What could possibly go wrong ?
Nothing and everything.
There’s a world of difference between leaping off a cliff with no safety net, expecting the Universe to catch your fall and having the courage to follow your dreams knowing that the Universe is a friendly place that supports all of life including you. In this article, I’m exploring risk taking - the pitfalls of impulsive decisions based on magical thinking and over caution as well as the benefits of empowered action from a growth mindset.
Leaping blindly is reckless and the danger is there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll land on to hard ground with a thud and get some bruises. That’s the Universe’s way of saying in no uncertain terms, look before you leap. Even if you do land on a soft cushion, this way of operating means you’re bound to crash sooner or later. The bigger your leap, the harder you’ll crash. Reaching our potential is all about playing our biggest game. This pattern keeps us going in the same overall loop with different details.
Taking courageous action with your eyes wide open on the other hand, requires clarity of vision, consistent action and a long term commitment to the journey. It’s the marathon training you’ve willingly signed up for knowing all that’s going to be required of you to make it. There are no false expectations about instant results, easy rides or being saved. You’re starting where you are, which is at the beginning, ready to grow into the successful version of yourself. The responsibility is only yours and you empower yourself to get the support and guidance you need to bridge the gaps.
Does this mean that you need to have it all figured out from the get go?
Not at all. In fact, that’s the other trap that keeps us in a cycle of overthinking and over cautiousness. Like the eternal student, taking no real action becomes limits our potential and becomes a comfort zone. Excessive planning and perfectionism is a defense mechanism that comes from a fear of failure.
While acting impulsively can be exciting and fires up our imagination, it is similar to the adventure in a fairy tale where the damsel lands herself in distress and a knight in shining armor shows up to save the day. It ends up reinforcing the story of our helplessness to succeed without a crisis and a savior. Curiously, we might find ourselves playing the role of savior for others in our life who are less able. The weird thing is that instead of feelings of gratitude and happiness as you might expect, there’s drama, resentment and powerlessness. The relief we get from taking impulsive action is usually temporary. Soon, the new situation we create ends up being remarkably similar to the one we were trying to escape. It’s why people who have been married several times find themselves in the same old relationship with a brand new partner. Although we think that we are starting again from scratch, the hidden patterns driving our behavior are still alive and kicking and they are creating our experience of reality. Until we discover and transform them, changing our circumstances is at best a distraction, fun in the short term but not effective.
I quit a good job in furniture retail with the hopes of starting my own gig but with no clear idea. A decade and two children later, I was no closer to realizing my dream and doubtful my ability to succeed. In the absence of a clear vision, grounded plan and growth mindset, life took over and my passion to create something of my own took a convenient backseat. Several attempts to start afresh in different careers made me realize that the real blocks to my success are not out there in the people and circumstances that I keep trying to change, but hidden in my blind spot. The nature of these blocks is that they are invisible but self perpetuating. Which means that even though they are not true and I’m not even aware of them, they keep proving themselves to be true. The pain and frustration that we feel from being blocked is very real. It can feel like we are doomed to keep repeating the same fate instead of the expansive potential that we can sense. The hidden blocks disconnect us from our deeper desires, wisdom and creative energy by creating a wall of impossibility around them. Every time we attempt to change our external situation from a place of powerlessness, we land up in more of the same. We make big decisions from a confused and contracted place and try to reach our goals with unrealistic strategies. Jumping recklessly is an example of this. Excitement at the thought of a new start colors our capacity to see all the facts clearly and the disadvantages become apparent later once the dust has settled. In a bid to get ahead of ourselves, we lose sight of where we actually are until reality hits with a bang.
So, what’s the antidote? How do we take empowered action towards our potential?
Pause and pay attention to any mixed feelings, underlying stress or general fogginess. Work through them instead of trying to push past or letting them hold you back. Taking the time to get clear on your vision, goals and gaps can save you a lot of time, energy, money and heartache in the long run and set you up for real success. Like a tree, firmly rooted in the ground and supported by a solid trunk, you can reach for the stars steadily one branch at a time. Starting a new venture, like nurturing a baby is a project that requires dedication, consistent effort and resources. Treat it like an adventure in unknown territory and approach it without any misconceptions of instant results or expectations of a bump free ride. Imagine that you’re making a long road trip. Before you set off on a fast motorway, you’d want to make sure that you have a good handle on driving skills, your car is roadworthy, you’ve got enough fuel and have a good idea of the direction where you’re headed.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you take a reality check with your decision. Take some quiet time and breathe into your belly. Connect with your inner knowing and go through the questions one at a time. Be open and curious, avoid trying to force anything. Slow down to listen for the answers instead of trying to think your way there. Journal your thoughts. You’ll start to distinguish between the fast, stressful and confused stream of thoughts and the grounded voice of wisdom.
Have I adequately covered my current responsibilities even as I embrace bigger possibilities?
Am I overlooking challenges which may be an opportunity for growth?
Do I have a clear vision of where I’m going?
What is my specific and measurable outcome for the next 3-6 months?
What are my practical next steps?
What are the gaps and the growth that I need to make?
What have I already got going for me and what areas need more work?
What support and guidance do I need to set myself up for success?
Maybe, you already took the leap or got pushed off the cliff. Now, you’re feeling the mounting pressure and questioning your choices. It’s challenging to stay on track on your own and far too easy to start coasting, fall into inertia or get lost in the land of daydreams. Feeling lost, overwhelmed and doubtful is not a sign that you’re destined to struggle and fail but it’s an important signal to pay attention to. It’s pointing towards the need for greater clarity in the vision and also what it looks like in specific and tangible terms. A support structure that helps to generate that clarity, provides reflection of your potential and accountability is essential to setting yourself up for success on your journey.
Success is about creating desirable outcomes for ourselves. In the end, what matters most is that we are happy with our choices and their consequences. Asking powerful questions is a great tool to start building awareness and disrupt the habitual ways in which we unknowingly end up sabotaging ourselves. It’s worth taking the time to connect with our own wisdom as we step into meaningful projects. Working on our mindset, means that the obstacles which were blocking our path become stepping stones to greater success. In a growth mindset, there is no final event we can call ‘failure’, but setbacks and opportunities for Growth. Once we’re on this pathway, we begin to experience the joy and aliveness which comes from unlocking our potential.
To find out more about embracing a Creation Mindset to create desirable outcomes or to learn more about working with Monika, click here
Photo by Ryan Cryar on Unsplash