THE SHIFT FROM

DRAMA TRIANGLE - Victim - Perpetrator - Saviour

TO 

EMPOWERMENT DYNAMIC - Creator - Challenger - Coach

In very simple terms :

THE DREADED DRAMA TRIANGLE - DRAINING. 

CHARACTERISED BY DYSFUNCTIONAL INTERACTIONS AND POWER STRUGGLES - CONFLICT AND PROBLEMS PERSIST AND GET WORSE WITH TIME, NO POSITIVE CHANGE - DRIVEN BY THE FEAR OF UNWANTED CONSEQUENCES SUCH AS LOSING CREDIBILITY, AUTHORITY OR FACING PUNISHMENT - FOCUS ON SHIFTING BLAME AND ABSOLVING RESPONSIBILITY - MISTAKES ARE MADE WRONG, CHALLENGES ARE SEEN AS BAD - EXPERIENCE OF DEEP STRUGGLE, FRUSTRATION AND RESENTMENT BY ALL. THE MAIN FEATURE OF THIS DYNAMIC IS THAT THE KEY PROBLEMS PERSIST - NOTHING CHANGES. 

THE EMPOWERED DYNAMIC - UPLIFTING.

CHARACTERISED BY GROWTH - CREATION FOCUSED - SPACE TO MAKE MEET CHALLENGES AND MAKE MISTAKES AS PART OF THE CREATION PROCESS - MEANINGFUL INTERACTIONS, POSITIVE OUTCOMES ARE REALISED - EXPERIENCE OF SUPPORT, COLLABORATION, JOY AND LOVE. THE MAIN FEATURE OF THIS DYNAMIC IS EVOLUTION, AND GROWTH FOR THE BENEFIT OF ALL. 

THE DRAMA TRIANGLE - EXPLAINED 

The Drama Triangle was described by Stephen Karpman in the 1960s. It is a model of dysfunctional social interactions, and illustrates a power game that involves three roles: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor, each role represents a common and ineffective response to ‘issues’. The journey around the triangle can happen with another, such as a spouse, child, co-worker, and so on - or it can happen within our own selves, we’re all familiar with the inner critic. Most of us are conditioned to play these three roles, and we consciously or unconsciously feel more comfortable in choosing one role in particular situations. 

To create a shift from the negative, draining loop of the dreaded drama triangle into the positive, uplifting vibe of the empowered dynamic, the first step is gaining awareness. When blame or avoidance of blame is the primary driver of action, there’s no room for creativity and problem solving to arise. Members of the interaction are caught up in a culture of absolving themselves of responsibility with complex justifications for their actions. In these situations, there's a lot of noise but nothing ultimately changes. 

The ‘problem’ must be separated and de-personalised from the persons involved in the interaction. The victim steps up into the role of the creator - verbalising their needs, wants and desires - instead of keeping quiet and complaining later to the saviour or presenting their views as fixed demands - and stays open to CREATING a positive solution in collaboration with others. The perpetrator shifts into being the challenger, the one who presents a challenge to the status quo and collaborates with others to reach an even better outcome - instead of assigning blame and punishment on to others for the problem. The saviour acts as a coach, remaining centred in calm and contributing to the interaction with openness and non-judgemental presence - instead of feeling internally pressured to sacrifice themselves and fill in the gaps left by others - and therefore never giving them space to take responsibility and grow. 

To get a clearer understanding on how this could be playing out in the context of your life, and how you can get your power back to shift the dynamic, book a 90 minute online Transformative Life Coaching Session with Monika HERE.